Rice anyone?

With the upcoming release of the fourth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise it seems appropriate to discuss some the products that come out of the films. The car culture has exploded not only in the United States but around the world and introduced millions of people to the car hobby. The aftermarket car parts market has seen millions of dollars in profits and the byproduct that overshadows any of these plusses, according to any card carrying Car Guy, is that Ricers were born.

As comedian Mike Merryfield puts it, “Any guy between the ages of 16 and 25 who went and saw the movie The Fast and the Furious” and had an import car said, “Holy S&%*! I own a race car.”

This would be a harmless enough occurrence except for the sheer number of guys that said that. For every 1 guy, such as myself, who saw the movie and it nurtured their budding interest in cars there were 10 more that took what they saw on the screen a couple times round the block. These individuals would later become known as Ricers. As defined by Urban Dictionary the term Ricer is: A person who makes unnecessary modifications to their most often import car to make it (mostly make it look) faster. If a Ricer is mostly about looks then a car guy can be identified by their appreciation and commitment to the performance and function of their car.
There is no explanation why car guys hate Ricers so much…just kidding. There is a perfectly legitimate and rational reason why guys who appreciate cars hate these guys. Ricers are intruders to car guys. As anyone who takes a hobby or profession seriously would know, there is a feeling of usurpation when someone invades the space that is your breadth of knowledge on cars. Ricers along with ruining otherwise perfectly good cars know very little about the performance of fast ones, they are strictly looks.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not making assumptions about the intelligence of people. However, it does not bode well for someone at the street races to tell me that their piddley single cam Honda could beat, or even keep up with, the Mustang Cobra not two cars away from where I stand. It’s just illogical to be so idiotic.

Now some folks can be misinterpreted as Ricers when they are actually not. The most common form of misidentified Ricer are the kids (mostly) who just get so wrapped up in going fast and looking good while doing it. They don’t have a lot of money so they buy the cheapest parts they can find and slap them all on their car. I would implore these kids to stop before they get their Ricer card punched. Save your money. Take your time. Remember, a good, quality part is worth a hundred cheap ones. One of the great thinkers of the past like Socrates or Plato can be quoted as saying, “Tis better to dream of a better car than to look like a douche bag in the one you have.”

The car companies have played right into the hands of the Ricer crowd. Nissan, Honda, Toyota and even Chevy have produced quality cars that are properly fast. The problem arrises when these cars are bought by young guys and have a bunch of non-functional crapolla put on them. The best thing I can do for you is to give you an example. If you were at a local street race event where I live you might find a guy who has cut out the back floor of his Chevy Cobalt to "save weight." The car is a good little car. Two doors. Good looking. Pair these two things with the right engine and transmission combonation then you might have a good car. Despite cars being designed with four sides for structural rigidity and safety this guy has chosen to cut out the floor despite his face. To clarify, the saving weight phenomenon with Ricers is a bad excuse for cutting things off of a car rather than putting them on with saving weight in mind but next to nothing is saved and the car just get mangled.

To all the car guys. Be patient with the missguided. To all the Ricers. Please get help somewhere from someone.

WARNING: If the content of this post offended you. You’re a Ricer.

If you've driven, you've seen rice.

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